The Front Page Article Of “The Social Eye: Power Of The Pen” Newspaper, Thursday June 14th 2012

Mango With Human Features…. The Story As It Is

“Surprise and asking of questions were full in the mouths of listeners of Lorlornyo FM, a private radio station in Hohoe in the Volta Region when news about a mango with two eyes, an ear, a forehead, a nose and a mouth was broke. To be precise, a mango having almost all the characteristics of a human head.

This strange mango was found at Lolobi-Kumasi, a small farming community in the Hohoe Municipality by Belinda Adzkimah, a 16 year old mother of one when she decided to pluck some mangoes from a tree in the house.

In an interview with this reporter, Belinda said that whilst picking the mangoes she had plucked from the ground, she found the one with the human features.

Terrified at her discovery, she threw the mango into a nearby bush and run to inform the mother. The mother then accompanied her to pick it from the bush.

Sensing danger that the ‘human mango’ might be a sign of a bad omen, the mother decided to send it to a fetish priest by name, Hunor Dodzi, who once lived in the house and planted the said mango tree. (Cont. on page 2)

(Cont. from page 1) When the Social Eye contacted Hunor Dodzi, he confirmed living in the house and also planting the tree. When questioned about what the strange mango could mean, he said, he had to consult his gods and whatever directives he is given, he will go back to the house to do just that.

Whilst some people attribute the mystery mango to the world coming to an end, others are of the view that the fetish priest might have buried a human head on the ground before planting the mango tree, hence the strange fruit.

When the acting Paramount Chief of Lolobi Traditional Area and his elders were contacted on the issue, they debunked the assertion that the fetish priest might have buried a human head in the house, an allegation that was causing fear and panic in the vicinity.

The chief and the elders opined that the mango was only a natural phenomenon.

Barely, a week after the Lolobi-Kumasi discovery, another mango with similar human features was picked up at the premises of the Hohoe Municipal Mutual Health Insurance Scheme when some children went there to pluck mangoes. Interestingly, that mango has since been eaten by some staff of the scheme.”

Two Conversations

The first, a conversation between myself and Mr Adam S Manly, the last obrunis standing in Achiase.
Me: I found a scorpion in my toilet today. I'm not happy about this situation.
Adam: Oh, really? Was it black?
Me: Yes.
Adam: Was it African?
Me: Uh, probably.
Adam: Did it speak Twi?
Me: No, not really.
Adam: Was it big?
Me: No, it wasn't that big.
Adam: Are you sure it wasn't the Rev?
Me: I think if I walked into the toilet and found the Rev pretending to be a scorpion I'd have bigger problems right now.

And the second, between myself and 11 year old Olivia Boateng, who had a baby on her back at an inter-school athletics rally.
Me: Is that your brother, Olivia?
Olivia: No.
Me: Then whose baby is it?
Olivia: I don't know. Somebody gave me a baby and so now I have a baby.

Oh, Ghana. 

School These Days

It's a well worn stereotype, the lazy white teenager. Don't care about work. Can't be bothered. So in what crazy, backwards schooling system are the Western teens the ones who care the most? Well, the Ghanaian one.

I honestly don't know how these kids stand it. A lack of resources of any kind mean that chalk & talk is the only kind of lesson they ever receive, that is, the only kind of lesson they receive when their teachers actually bother to turn up to class. Which isn't often. A few weeks ago I found myself accidentally becoming the school's ICT teacher in addition to my regular Science classes. Their actual ICT teacher stopped showing up in October last year and nothing was ever done about it, so the students just didn't get taught. And then when the teachers do actually turn up for class they spend half their time beating the crap out of the pupils. Talked in class? Caned. Answered a question wrong? Caned. Did badly in the homework? Caned.

And the reasons for all this are easy. Experience and money.

Teaching is not a prestigious job. Most teachers are very young here, around 21 years old, because teaching is just a stepping stone, a way to make a little money until they do something else. And what little money it is. At one of the volunteer's schools, a private school, some teachers earn as little as 20 cedi a month. That's less than eight pounds. And then there's the fact that these teachers are just fresh out of school themselves, and if they were caned and ignored and not taught half the syllabus in their classes, why should these students be any different?

It's a constant struggle, especially as the only obruni in a fairly large school, to bring some fun and variation into these children's lessons. I've had quizzes where they can write on the blackboard themselves, given out stickers, and one of my Science classes legitimately applauded me when I produced a packet of coloured pencils for them to use to make posters.

These kids are smart, and they deserve so much more than what they are getting.

“My favourite subjects are PE, woodwork and lunch time.”

In early April, some of my students wrote letters to Scottish pupils from my old high school, telling them about their lives, their families, and the best way to dance Azonto. This week I got the replies.

My pupils were ecstatic, they were so excited to learn about Madame Fiona’s country. But it was funny, as I read through the letters saying how in Scotland to get water you turn on a tap, and asking for facebook adds, I got a sense that this might be a prediction of how people are going to react when I go back. When I tell people about my life here they say that it makes them feel lucky. But it’s not that life here is hard, it’s just that life over there is easy.

Okay, I realise that the tone of this blog is starting to get a little moody as I dread my fast approaching return to Scotland. So here’s a surprisingly touching excerpt from one Scottish girl’s letter to finish on:

“I read Ruth Baiden’s letter and found it interesting how different her life was to mine because she is always so busy and always helping her family. She must be a very lovely girl.”